I got a newsletter this morning from Matt Delooze - nothing personal, I'm just signed up to receive them. He sounded worn out & disillusioned (sounds I've been hearing from quite a few researchers lately).
I have mentioned Matt from time to time in my articles. I do not know him personally, I've emailed him a few times & he has almost always replied.
The thing is, I owe Matt a huge debt of gratitude - perhaps debt is not the right word - I hold an immense feeling of thanks towards him - immense is probably not the right word either, should be something bigger.
I found his work through the David Icke website. I remember spending about a week eating up his articles. It was in 2007, the year I played deadly serious & made the decision to live as opposed to merely keep on existing. That was the year I went to Hawaii, as I've written about before. Less than one month after that I was off again, this time to Sydney, again with my son, at the unbelievable (to me) invitation of my ex-husband.
At that time I had tried & failed to get a hold of Matthew Delooze's then new book "Is it Me for a Moment', so had asked my ex if he could get it & bring it with him (he lives in Europe). On my first night in Sydney I began reading. As with his other work, the book hit home.
As my son & his dad like to sleep in & I don't, I got up real early & took to the streets. There were cafes open even at that time, so I could sit & sip & read. Then I'd go exploring . I only had sight-seeing in mind, but somehow reading Matt's book I seemed to be seeing the sights in a whole new way. I felt then & it's still the same now, as if I was inside a living documentary with this down to earth Englishman doing the narrating.
My (inner)sight-seeing began with being taking aback by a weird statue, all symbols'n'things - wtf thought I! As I walked on, it seemed to me that everywhere I looked I was being met with high strangeness. Over the course of those 5 days, I walked & walked. I walked north, south, east & west. We were staying in the heart of the city and there was much to see.
Matt's ideas on the use of ritual for farming emotional respect was with me as I walked around the ANZAC memorial. After the repulsion I felt upon viewing of 'The Sacrifice,' I must admit I was on high alert when my son & I walked into the little museum to the side of that statue.
Was it just coincidence that we walked into that room just moments before the daily ritual rememberance ceremomy at 11.00am? I had no prior knowledge of it, yet it was that hijacking of our attention, with it's commandment to face east & re-member in silence, that had me outta there faster than a jackrabbit - I was AWARE that something was happening, though I didn't know what, only that I would NOT be a part of it. It was an intense decision at the time & I needed that intensity because it was a huge effort to break away from that scene - perhaps akin to how you'd feel being asked to do a strip tease at a funeral. This belief in the sacredness of sacrifice, pain & death is just so monumental.
Anyway there was much else in my trip to Sydney that has stayed with me, but it was that event that lead me here.
I emailed Matthew Delooze when I got back home, thanking him for his book & mentioning that I would like to send him some info about my experience. He kindly wrote back that that was ok but he was off to the Probe Conference.
So I sat down & put together as best I could what had happened, along with pics of The Sacrifice & surrounding areas in the hope of making more sense. When I'd finished, I stopped. I realised that if I sent that email that was IT - I would be committing myself to standing up - I didn't know how I might do that, but it meant no more standing on the side lines gazing in. I hit the send button.
I never heard back from Matt, I figured in the end that perhaps I sounded like a right lunatic. Now I think differently - well I mean I might well have sounded like a lunatic, but if he had answered, the compulsion to write would perhaps have evaporated - in fact it may be that my decision to stand up necessitated my not hearing back from him - because here I am & have been for the past year.
The journey to writing included one other incident that involved this man.
I went to Japan to see a talk by David Icke - a decision that appeared in my consciousness one day, I had mentioned to a couple of people that it would be neat to go (as perhaps that was the closest he'd get to NZ & he had been a big part of my initial waking up). Anyway the evening after I said this for a second time, up from somewhere inside bubbled the decision prepackaged - all I could do was giggle with surprise & say "Oh shit, I'm going to Japan!"
It was an amazing trip for me, really helping me see that I could depend on myself, as I went alone & found my way round very well in a country where English is not 'god'. I'd left myself an extra day after the talk to do a bit of normal sight-seeing.
However a train trip to Asakusa introduced me to a wtf building, La Flamme d'Or, also known as the Golden Turd. Antennae rippling I went in for a closer look. Pretty weird n'est-ce pas?
La Flamme d'Or (the Golden Flame - completely unsymbolic) - also known as the Golden Turd.
On the return train journey to my Ryokan (traditional Japanese hotel), my eye was caught by a theme park with Ferris wheel & dome & pyramid - all symbols I'd learned about through Matt's work. Here was an opportunity to take a few snaps to send to him as a 'token thank' you for all the awakening he'd inspired in me.
A fun ride or rather interesting symbol?
It was persisting down that day & after re-affirming that my shoes were not waterproof, I returned to my hotel & did a bit of drying out & Internet researching. I found that the ..err 'creator' of La Flamme d'Or, Phillipe Starck had another masterpiece in Odaiba in Tokyo Bay - a golden obelisk, plus there was a whopping great Ferris Wheel there - well what could I do but go forth & investigate.
"Starck's career started to climb in earnest in 1982 when he designed the interior for the private apartments of the French President Francois Mitterand" otherwise known as the man who ordered the bombing of the Greenpeace vessel, the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland Harbour in 1985 in Operation Satanic.
I was due to fly home the next day & needed to vacate the hotel by 2.00pm. To get to Odaiba in Tokyo Bay required 4 train changes. I got up real early that morning.
The first thing that stands out as you cross the Rainbow Bridge is The Ferris Wheel
"The Odaiba Ferris Wheel is the largest one in the world with a diameter of 100 meters and a height of 115 meters above ground. It is the symbol of the Palette Town. ... The whole of Tokyo Bay can also be seen, with the highlight of the ride being the magnificent Rainbow Bridge, which is regarded as the symbol and pride of Tokyo Bay. Rainbow Bridge lights in the evening and with a little imagination, appears just like a huge rainbow stretching across the bay, with the cars like shooting stars dashing through the rainbow. The Ferris Wheel itself also lights up in the evening, and by itself is a very pretty sight." Note: I'm not sure if this is correct about it being the largest Ferris Wheel, but certainly one of the largest.
The rest of Odaiba was an eye opener, full of wtf symbolic buildings - I mean this is Japan - what was the Statue of Liberty doing there, or a Rainbow Bridge or a Venus Fort (shopping centre)- all too, too weird unless of course there's a little more to what we see than what we see.
Both these events condensed into articles along the way. I don't know that I'd be writing today without my experiences of them. My gratitude to Matthew Delooze & others like him, who give their time & knowledge freely is unbounded. None of us are in this alone, others can add immensely to our lives, mostly just by helping to keep our eyes & minds open. I am wary of answers, they close doors & minds.
I thank all those I have learned from & continue to learn from. Ellis Taylor opened my eyes to other worlds. Aferrismoon opened my eyes to playing with words. Michael from Hidden Agendas taught me about friendship & Devin from My Favourite Monsters about keeping going no matter how great the challenge. There are many others who have added & continue to add to my life. I thank them sincerely.
When I wrote my first Sacrifice article, I mentioned Matt Delooze's influence only briefly - in part because I'd had years of people changing the subject as soon as I began 'I read this book...', but also because I felt the topic I was talking about required full attention.
It has been my policy that my blog is about the sharing of & playing with, ideas. I feel free to write about what calls me because there is no one paying me to say what they want. However it is my choice today to bring Matt's upcoming talk to anyone who can go because he has put out a heart-felt plea for support, not financial, but physical & spiritual - a man who charges $4 for a 3 hour talk & includes tea & bikkies is not after your life savings. He is giving his time which equals his life to reach those who are ready to open their minds, as are all who give their time so freely on these blogs. I know the stories behind a number of writers, am aware of serious health issues yet still they they come & share their time & their energy.
So if you haven't read Matt Delooze then for absolutely no charge or commission I highly recommend him. Should you be anywhere within the vicinity of EUROPE on June 20th this year, go hear & support him.
From Matt's site
"Hello, I will be in Leicester on the 20th June 2009 doing a full Breaking the Serpent's Spell Talk. I will be including two half hour spells of special focus on 'life and death' (Had enough of living - Had enough of dying) and 'who should we trust' ( Soul saving Gurus?... or simply greedy sheep in wolves clothing?). Everyone is welcome. The admission is only £4. This admission charge is made to attempt to pay hire costs and transport costs etc. I am hoping to provide free tea coffee and the odd biscuit too. I need your support so please purchase your ticket in advance if you can."
Matt Delooze's talk is from 1pm - 4.30pm at the British Legion Club, 13 Main Street, Corner of Tennis Court Drive, Humberstone, Leicester, England (very close to the rest of Europe) on the 20th June.