Wednesday, August 13, 2008

It's about time

Since I wrote about Groundhog Week a little way back, I've been noticing & not noticing, 'time' more. I have spent my last two weekends or weakene(n)d states, in a strange, timeless place.

The first weekend I was really thrown, totally out of it - somehow it seemed that by having a good look at the 'week', the 'spell' of the two day event or weekend, had been broken, at least for a time, & I must admit I felt rather lost.

Last 'weekend' I was curious to see what happened - there it was again, the same feeling, a sense of disconnectedness to the prescribed event - a sort of timelessness where no thing had to be done - the day & the time had little significance. My only slight concern was to try & remember to put the rubbish out on Sunday night & that the next day was a work day.

So I've been wondering about time this last week. I remembered once imagining living to the ripe age of 5,000, to see what a difference that would make in my thinking - it was quite incredible - taking away the ticking clock of doom & a great sense of expansiveness replaces it.

What I also found intriguing in this practice was the release of the future. One thing that really pisses me off with the whole new age malarkey is the concept of living in the present moment which is touted ad nauseum. Living in the NOW. I have a friend, who when she speaks glowingly of this term, does stop to apologise to me because she knows how much it annoys me. Now I have tried, really I have, but I just got thoroughly f**ked off. It seemed like a nice, though perhaps somewhat boring idea to me, which nobody apart from some book writing demi-gods know how to achieve.

...Earth to wise woman are you receiving... sorry got carried away. Anyway, what I was trying to say was that when I imagined living to 5,000 (obviously while still looking young, gorgeous & not a day over 2000) I found that the pressure of the future just dropped away, I relaxed & the NOW that is so touted, just appeared. So for one thing I'm thinking how can we possibly ever live in or achieve 'the present' while caged in time - I don't think that we can - as long as our lives are defined by minutes & hours & days & weeks, then we are well & truly roped onto a conveyor belt of time & it's inevitable conclusion.

This isn't meant to be a homily or anything, just a few thoughts & a little break from something I'm working on which will perhaps tie in with this a bit.

Yesterday I played another little game of extended lifetime - the timelessness of the last couple of weekends was on my mind. Out of interest I upped the time to 10,000 years -to see what I could see. I was at work at that time - straight off I saw that I would just leave my job immediately. I real-eyes'd that I would do very many things in this life, but what 'cooked my noodle' was finding that I had absolutely no worries about money or how I would pay for these things - just a complete sense of assurance that I would achieve all I wished to achieve.

So this is what I wondered - can money exist without time? Remember we live by the metaphor TIME IS MONEY - both of these fantastical (fanatical?) inventions are treated in the same way, looked at in the same light - we spend them, save them, waste them.

The lesson for today is taken from the internet - Time IS Money

I was reminded of a conversation I had with my son recently when I asked him if he thought about the future - he is 15 now. He said he didn't think about it much, unless there was something in particular he was looking forward to. "Well", said I, "do you think of what might happen to you?" "No", said he - he just has this feeling/surety that whatever happens he'll be able to deal with it when the moment arises. This pre-echoed my feelings from when I contemplated an extended warranty so to speak - children do not contemplate time, it is a no thing to them & I wonder if this may have a lot to do with their vitality & energy.

Well I'm about to launch into what I sincerely hope will be another 'timeless' two day wonder - now where did I leave my crayons?